List of Bo' Selecta! episodes

The following is a comprehensive list of the episodes from Channel 4 impressions series Bo' Selecta!.

Episode list

Series 1 (2002)

Episode	Title	Written by	Directed by	Viewers (millions)	Original airdate
0	"Pilot"	TBA	TBA	TBA	Unaired
Avid Merrion gives a tour around his studio flat, before setting out to track down his first crush, Davina McCall.
1	"Avid Loves... Davina"	Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman	Ben Palmer	TBA	6 September 2002
Avid Merrion gives a tour around his studio flat; Michael Jackson introduces his family; The Bear invites Liberty X into his treehouse on Hampstead Heath; Mel B advertises her new book; Craig David provides an insight into 7 Days of his life; David Blaine performs street magic for some lucky shoppers; and Avid interviews Jade Goody and Davina McCall.
2	"Avid Surprises... Penny"	Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman	Ben Palmer	TBA	13 September 2002
Britney Spears tells us what she does on her day off; Enrique Iglesias berates Gareth Gates for his drunken behaviour; The Bear interviews Tess Daly; Michael Jackson takes part in blind boxing; Elton John learns to use the internet; Craig David takes on the world of medieval jousting; David Blaine helps a woman overcome her fear of chickens; and Avid surprises Penny Smith on the set of GMTV.
3	"Avid Stalks... Michael"	Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman	Ben Palmer	TBA	20 September 2002
John Lennon comes back to life and visits his dead wife; Michael Jackson goes ice-skating with some chickens; and Avid goes in search of Michael Ball in an attempt to get his autograph.
4	"Michael Jackson's Family Tree"	Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman	Ben Palmer	TBA	27 September 2002
Michael Jackson introduces Janet for the first time; The Osbournes are told to tone their swearing; and Avid's odd neighbour Ozzey discovers that he has been keeping Craig Phillips hostage.
5	"Avid Oozes Over... The Hollyoaks Babes"	Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman	Ben Palmer	TBA	4 October 2002
The Bear interviews Sarah Cawood; Destiny's Child find themselves at a beauty salon in Bradford on their day off, but an angry Beyoncé slags off her bandmates; and Avid goes to the Soap Awards, and meets the cast of Hollyoaks.
6	"Craig David's Homecoming"	Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman	Ben Palmer	TBA	11 October 2002
David Blaine tries to stay in a suspended ice-block for a week; while Craig David comes home to Leeds and introduces his friends and family.
7	"Proper Bo' Selecta - Part One"	Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman	Ben Palmer	TBA	28 February 2003
Higlights from the first series; as well as new footage and sketches; including Martin Bashir interviewing Michael Jackson.
8	"Proper Bo' Selecta - Part Two"	Leigh Francis & Spencer Millman	Ben Palmer	TBA	7 March 2003
More highlights, new footage and sketches from the first series.

Series 2 (2003)

Episode	Title	Written by	Directed by	Viewers (millions)	Original airdate
1	"Avid's Back... Back Again"	Leigh Francis	Ben Palmer	TBA	6 June 2003
Jade Goody gives birth to a new baby; Craig David begins a sold-out tour; Katie Price airs an argument between members of The Spice Girls and Girls Aloud; Michael Jackson offers P. Diddy the chance to duet with him; Avid attends a celebrity football game where he meets Rod Stewart, and Gareth Gates has a weird encounter with Justin Hawkins.
2	"Avid Makes Love to... t.A.T.u."	Leigh Francis	Ben Palmer	TBA	13 June 2003
David Beckham joins the Disney Club; Craig David runs into Michael Jackson and Martin Bashir on his world tour; Katie Price expresses upset over One True Voice's split; The Bear interviews Jennifer Ellison; Ricky Gervais surprises shoppers with an outbreak of dancing; Dale Winton goes live on GMTV; and Avid comes face to face with t.A.T.u. at an HMV signing.
3	"Avid Dreams of... Mis-Teeq"	Leigh Francis	Ben Palmer	TBA	20 June 2003
Avid is arrested for stalking Vanessa Feltz; Craig David goes on a promotional tour for his new single; David Beckham learns how to ride a bike; Michael Jackson tries out some new international cuisine; The Bear interviews Kerry Katona; Ant & Dec find out what their latest task on Saturday Night Takeaway is; and Avid has dreams of meeting Mis-Teeq.
4	"Avid Meets... Westlife"	Leigh Francis	Ben Palmer	TBA	27 June 2003
Avid's dream of meeting his heroes, Westlife, finally comes true; Keane surprise Avid with a visit; and Trisha Goddard helps out a group of motorists in distress.
5	"Avid Goes to the... Movies"	Leigh Francis	Ben Palmer	TBA	4 July 2003
The Bear interviews Edith Bowman; Avid attends the movie premiere of Charlie's Angels; and Mark Owen makes an unexpected appearance.
6	"Avid vs..... Meatloaf"	Leigh Francis	Ben Palmer	TBA	11 July 2003
The bear interviews Vernon Kay; Avid goes behind-the-scenes at Party in the Park; Meat Loaf challenges Avid to a sing-off; and Kylie Minogue finds herself caught in a bidding war for her old underwear.
7	"Avid on the... Radio"	Leigh Francis	Ben Palmer	TBA	18 July 2003
The Bear interviews Davina McCall and Dermot O'Leary on the set of Big Brother; Michael Jackson scatters Barry White's ashes; Mel B gives a guided tour of her house; and Avid finally comes face-to-face with Chris Moyles.
8	"Craig David's Doppelganger"	Leigh Francis	Ben Palmer	TBA	25 July 2003
Craig David discovers he has a doppelganger; David Sneddon gives his first live performance since Fame Academy; and Richard Madeley reveals details of his first encounter with Judy Finnigan, and how her ample assets have made his life brighter.

Christmas Specials (2003)

Episode	Title	Written by	Directed by	Viewers (millions)	Original airdate
1	"Proper Crimbo!"	Leigh Francis	Ben Palmer	TBA	21 November 2003
Avid reveals that he has recorded a single to compete in the Christmas charts, entitled "Proper Crimbo!", and takes us behind the scenes of the music video, with stars including Matthew Wright, John Leslie, Bob Geldof, Dermot O'Leary, Jade Goody and Sting.
2	"Ho, Ho, Ho, Selecta!"	Leigh Francis	Ben Palmer	2.61m	23 December 2003
Craig David visits Santa Claus' grotto; Michael Jackson teaches Mel B the art of carol singing; Elton John delivers an alternative Queen's speech; and a number of famous faces join together for a choir recital.

Series 3 (2004)

Episode	Title	Written by	Directed by	Viewers (millions)	Original airdate
1	"Avid and the... Spice Girl"	Leigh Francis & Kate Daughton	Ben Palmer	2.82m	18 June 2004
Avid gives a tour of his new chat show set and the people who work there, and he also interviews Emma Bunton; Paul McKenna is interviewed by The Bear; Mel B and Patsy Kensit share a house in a spoof of The Odd Couple, and Craig David starts filming his new video diary.
2	"Avid and the... Australian"	Leigh Francis & Kate Daughton	Ben Palmer	2.42m	25 June 2004
Michael Jackson starts a protest on the prison roof in Doin' Porridge; in The Odd Couple, Mel B annoys Patsy Kensit in the bathroom; The Bear goes to the pub with Bob Mortimer; and Avid interviews Peter Andre.
3	"Avid Learns How to... Be Cool"	Leigh Francis & James Le Frond	Ben Palmer	2.66m	2 July 2004
Avid tries to entertain Jack Osbourne with an afternoon in the Jacuzzi; and Keith Lemon has a proposition for Avid.
4	"Avid Falls in Love with... Nadine"	Leigh Francis & James Le Frond	Ben Palmer	2.52m	9 July 2004
The Bear becomes an agony aunt with Phil Vickery and Fern Britton on the This Morning set. Nick Cotton and Kat Slater argue in the laundrette in Eastendings; Craig David has trouble with his PR Manager; in The Odd Couple, Mel B and Patsy Kensit talk about the size of their breasts; and Nadine gives a live performance of her new single.
5	"Avid Becomes Obsessive with... Nadine"	Leigh Francis & James Le Frond	Ben Palmer	2.50m	16 July 2004
Avid interviews Sean Pertwee on his talk show set; The Bear goes camping with Lisa Stansfield in The Bear's Showbiz Tail, and Nadine returns to the studio to perform "No Limit".
6	"Avid and the... Coronation Street Threesome"	Leigh Francis & James Le Frond	Ben Palmer	2.55m	23 July 2004
In Doin' Porridge, Michael Jackson has some recreation time in the prison yard; The Bear and Jonathan Ross rehearse for "Bear: The Movie"; Avid meets Suranne Jones and Samia Ghadie on the set of Coronation Street; Craig David edits his new video for "Soda Pop" in the new segment of his video diary, and Mel B looks after Patsy Kensit when she is ill in The Odd Couple.
7	"Avid and the Trouble with... The Osbournes"	Leigh Francis & Kate Daughton	Ben Palmer	2.53m	30 July 2004
Avid interviews to Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne about their daughter, Kelly; in Eastendings, Kat Slater has a run in with Sonia's Dad, and the show then experiences technical difficulties caused by The Bear; Craig David throws a party for his single "Soda Pop"; it's Psychotherapy Day for Michael Jackson in Doin' Porridge; and in The Odd Couple, Patsy Kensit and Mel B exercise to a work out video.
8	"That One With Lots of Guests"	Leigh Francis & James Le Frond	Ben Palmer	2.39m	6 August 2004
Avid interviews a number of celebrity guests, including Myleene Klass, Vernon Kay, Dermot O'Leary and Craig Phillips.
9	"The Bear Takes Over"	Leigh Francis & Kate Daughton	Ben Palmer	1.45m	13 August 2004
The Bear takes over as host, and starts a band with James Bourne and Charlie Simpson from Busted; Craig David "Checks It Out" with Derek Acorah, searching for ghosts in a haunted mansion; Kat Slater has an argument in the garage in Eastendings; while Patsy Kensit gets drunk and thinks she has feelings for Mel B in The Odd Couple.

Christmas Specials (2004)

Episode	Title	Written by	Directed by	Viewers (millions)	Original airdate
1	"Avid Merrion's Christmas Premiere"	Leigh Francis & Kate Daughton	Ben Palmer	TBA	16 November 2004
Avid takes us behind the scenes at the recording of his second Christmas single I Got You Babe, on which he duets with Davina McCall and Patsy Kensit. Craig David also premieres the video for his new single, "Soda Pop".
2	"A Bear's Christmas Tail"	Leigh Francis, James Le Frond & Kate Daughton	Ben Palmer	TBA	21 December 2004
The Bear decides to move out of his treehouse and find himself a family... but not quite everything goes to plan.

Series 4: A Bear's Tail (2005)

A Bear's Tail forms part of the Bo' Selecta narrative and is therefore considered the next series in the timeline.

Episode	Title	Written by	Directed by	Viewers (millions)[1]	Original airdate
1	"The Good, The Bear & The Ugly"	Ben Palmer & James Le Frond	Ben Palmer	1.95m	8 July 2005
The Bear realises that he may have finally found his new home.
2	"Adventures in Bear-by-sitting"	Ben Palmer & James Le Frond	Ben Palmer	2.00m	15 July 2005
Now settled into his new environment and role as a sitcom star, The Bear learns to share his screen time with other actors.
3	"The Son of Bear-elzebub"	Ben Palmer & James Le Frond	Ben Palmer	1.66m	22 July 2005
Things between The Bear and Richard start to go down-hill, so in an attempt to repair their relationship, they attend a father and son counselling session.
4	"Meet The Bearents"	Ben Palmer & James Le Frond	Ben Palmer	Under 1.75m	29 July 2005
The Bear meets his real biological parents.
5	"Blame it on the Bearboy"	Ben Palmer & James Le Frond	Ben Palmer	Under 1.56m	5 August 2005
After overhearing a conversation between The Bear and Stephen the Squirrel, Richard learns that Helena is not really pregnant.
6	"Two Weddings, A Bear & No Funeral"	Ben Palmer & James Le Frond	Ben Palmer	1.74m	12 August 2005
While Helena and Richard celebrate their last night of freedom, Bear is sent to stay with cousin Kelly Osbourne. Helena and Richard get married at the same time as Dave and Sue. As the wedding takes place, even Bear can't hide his joy and makes up with sister Lilian after treating her like a supporting actress.

Christmas Special (2005)

Episode	Title	Written by	Directed by	Viewers (millions)[2]	Original airdate
1	"Avid Merrion: American Sicko"	TBA	TBA	TBA	24 December 2005
Avid Merrion decides to up-sticks with some of his celebrity friends and start a new life in America.

Series 5: Bo! in the USA (2006)

Episode	Title	Written by	Directed by	Viewers (millions)	Original airdate
1	"Avid in the U.S.A."	Leigh Francis & Ben Palmer	Ben Palmer	TBA	13 October 2006
Avid and his wife Sacha talk about their move to L.A., and the celebrities who stay at their new hotel. Meanwhile, in the Michael Jackson Show, Michael pimps a bride.
2	"Avid Hangs Out With... Justin Timberlake"	Leigh Francis & Ben Palmer	Ben Palmer	TBA	20 October 2006
Avid meets Justin Timberlake, while wolf-boy Ralph talks to Carlito about what it would be like to be with a woman like Sacha.
3	"The Bear and the Supermodel"	Leigh Francis & Ben Palmer	Ben Palmer	TBA	27 October 2006
The Bear meets Victoria Silvstedt, and Sacha starts having an affair with Ralph the wolf-boy.
4	"Chris Martin's Donuts"	Leigh Francis & Ben Palmer	Ben Palmer	TBA	3 November 2006
Avid catches Sacha kissing Ralph, whilst she's seeing Steve Guttenberg. Chris Martin has fun shopping for donuts.
5	"Avid and the... Movie Star"	Leigh Francis & Ben Palmer	Ben Palmer	TBA	10 November 2006
Carlito tries to tell Ralph that wolf boys can't have relationships with humans after he becomes upset over losing Sacha. Avid and Sacha meet Dean Cain.
6	"Pete Docherty's Addiction"	Leigh Francis & Ben Palmer	Ben Palmer	TBA	17 November 2006
Krishnan Guru-Murphy reports on Pete Docherty's latest addiction - peas. Plus The Bear finally gets a gig, presenting a chat show.

Specials (2009)

Episode	Title	Written by	Directed by	Viewers (millions)	Original airdate
1	"Cha'mone Mo Fo Selecta"	Leigh Francis & James Le Frond	James Le Frond	TBA	24 September 2009
Michael Jackson introduces a documentary about his life, after his death earlier in the year, with contributions from Emma Bunton, David Gest, Paddy McGuinness and Peaches Geldof. This episode was dedicated to the memory of Michael Jackson.
2	"The Bear's Proper Chrimbo!"	Leigh Francis & James Le Frond	James Le Frond	TBA	18 December 2009
The Bear counts down his top twenty all-time favourite Christmas-related music videos, including both of Avid Merrion's Christmas-related singles – "Proper Crimbo" and "I Got You Babe".

References

1. http://www.barb.co.uk/viewing-data/weekly-top-30/
2. http://www.barb.co.uk/viewing-data/weekly-top-30/