Bikini Planet
| Author | David S. Garnett |
|---|---|
| Country | United Kingdom |
| Language | English |
| Genre |
Science fiction Comedy |
Publication date | 2000 |
| Media type | Print (Paperback) |
| Pages | 344 pp (May change depending on the publisher and the size of the text) |
| ISBN | 1-85723-950-4 |
| OCLC | 42578586 |
| Preceded by | Stargonauts |
Bikini Planet is a science fiction comedy written by David S. Garnett and released exclusively in the United Kingdom as a paperback. It is written as a sub-sequel to an earlier story written by Garnett in 1994, entitled Stargonauts, which features some of the same settings and characters from the first story.
Backstory
In 1968, Las Vegas weakling cop Wayne Norton stumbles on a gangster plot by crime lord Mario to freeze himself and re-emerge as the Head of a large criminal empire in the future. After knocking Wayne unconscious, Mario freezes him instead and then kills his servants.
While Wayne is frozen, Mario is caught and sentenced to 300 years imprisonment. Over the years, the world becomes heavily dependent on the Internet, and all books, videos etc., are recorded electronically. On Day Zero, the entire Internet crashes and all history and knowledge is wiped out. People eventually forget what they were taught, and learn from the past through old John Wayne films. Las Vegas is overrun by Red Indians, who leave many American cities to ruin.
Plot
Waking in the 24th Century, Wayne claims to be John Wayne. He's appointed a GalactiCop Police Sergeant by his new employer, Colonel Travis. Unbeknownst to Norton, Travis sends Wayne as his double to Hideaway, the entertainment planet.
On the nearby prison planet Arazon (colliquially known as "Clink"), the female prisoner Kiru (a neurotic) falls into league with a band of space pirates planning to escape. The mute bodyguard Grawl decides to protect Kiru. He even kills his friend Aqa after he and Kiru have sex. Once she escapes and gets to Hideaway, Kiru gets away from Grawl. He had planned on transplanting all of her organs to keep himself going.
Wayne arrives on Hideaway and checks in as Robin Hood. He comes across a tailors' shop run by Janesmith, a princess-in-exile from the female-dominated planet of Algol. After identifying himself as Duke Wayne this time, Janesmith immediately has sex with him, thinking he's an aristocrat. Wayne is unwilling to continue, though, after discovering Janesmith has vagina dentata, but she uses hypnosis to knock him out.
Wayne awakes up in his room alone, but a few seconds later Kiru comes rushing in to hide from Grawl. The two have sex and are then arrested, while still naked, by a band of amoeba aliens who have already captured the escaped space pirates. Both Wayne and Kiru escape the aliens' ship, but in different escape pods. Kiru ends up riding with Colonel Travis (under the false name of Eliot Ness) and Wayne ends up stuck with Grawl.
Both escape pods land on an unknown planet. While Kiru and Travis land safely, Grawl sacrifices himself to help Wayne escape before the pod floods in the alien sea. Wayne is rescued and learns from Travis that the planet is to be the new Las Vegas, in direct competition with Hideaway. It will be called either Cafe World or Vegas World. The inhabitants all wear bikinis for uniforms, even while construction is underway.
There are three alternate endings to the story. Two of which involve Kiru and Wayne marrying on Vegas / Cafe World, while the other involves a massacre of the characters by a resurrected Grawl.
Links to Stargonauts
Stargonauts also featured the characters of Grawl and Janesmith, and ended on Hideaway. In the original story, Grawl worked as a bodyguard to media tycoon William Ewart, who was in his fifth marriage to Janesmith's sister, Marysmith (who is mentioned on several occasions in Bikini Planet). Bikini Planet picks up from where the story left off, with Janesmith left abandoned on Hideaway whilst Grawl and Ewart became space pirates and presumably ended up on Arazon together.