List of Consolevania episodes

This is a list of episodes of Consolevania in order of release.

Pilot episode

In a posting on the Rllmuk forums (dated 15 January 2004) the planned contents of the pilot episode of Consolevania were listed by Robert Florence under the alias BigLime. Some of the planned content was either cut altogether or moved into later episodes.

The reviews for Castlevania: Lament of Innocence, Siren and Bujingai made it in, whereas Headhunter Redemption did not and the Biohazard Outbreak review was bumped to the second episode.

Features on the GP32 and the Salamander series were cut entirely, as were a variety of promising comedy sections that are listed as follows:

Out of these, COUNT PADULA's CRYPT would appear to have evolved into John Gacy's 'Kiddies' Corner', whereas Metal Gear My Mate's House was modified into an end-of-show sketch on an episode of videoGaiden.

Series one

Episode 1

Length: 56 minutes
Introductions: Hitler, Legend, Mr. Robert, Mr. Ryan
Reviews: Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (PS2), The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind (Xbox), Bujingai (PS2), Siren (PS2)
Regular Sketches: Legend, Hitler (rant), An Overblood reference
One-off Sketches/Features: The Shenmue drinking game, an extensive interview with a games retailer

Episode 2

Length: 49 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: Glass Rose (PS2), Kya (PS2), Biohazard Outbreak (PS2), Romance Of The Three Kingdoms VIII (PS2), .hack//INFECTION (PS2)
Regular Sketches: Legend, Cosplay (Virtuoso), Hitler (complains to the retailer GAME)
One-off Sketches/Features: Cosplay - The Consolevania Way, A Day In The Life, Videogaming c. 50,000 BC

Episode 3

Length: 46 minutes
Introductions: Kenny, John Gacy
Reviews: Syberia II (Xbox), Driv3r (Xbox), Showdown: Legends of Wrestling (Xbox), Full Spectrum Warrior (Xbox), Spiderman 2 (platform unclear)
Regular Sketches: Hitler (an update from the front)
One-off Sketches/Features: Robert Florence appears on local television (in regards to Manhunt and the phrase "bummed in the gob" as part of a bet on the rllmuk forums), End of Level Boss

Episode 4, Type 4

Length: 51 minutes
Introductions: Peter Molyneux, Joanne, Sammy Miller, Louise, Shigsy
Reviews: Winning Eleven 8 (PS2), Gradius V (PS2), The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay (Xbox), Michigan (PS2)
Regular Sketches: Legend, Kenny, Tap Tap Tap, John Gacy's Kiddies' Corner
One-off Sketches/Features: The 'Ten' Best N64 Games Ever

Episode 5, The Musical

Length: 53 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: Halo 2 (Xbox), Cabela's Deer Hunt: 2005 Season (Xbox), Tales of Symphonia (GameCube), Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2)
Regular Sketches: Legend (rap), Tap Tap Tap (DDR), Top 10 (SNES games), Hitler (home video), Sammy Miller (GTA: San Andreas), John Gacy (karaoke), The Shigsy Show ("Let's Say Nintendo's Doomed!", parody of "Let's Call the Whole Thing Off", Kenny ("You're the Best! Around!")
One-off Sketches/Features: Consolevania: RISE!, MasterChef Chief, Decision Commander, The Deer Hunter (with lightguns), CV Top Gear, Dominik Diamond

Episode 6, The Christmas Special

Length: 25 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: None
Regular Sketches: John Gacy (Santa), Hitler (meets Patrick Moore), Mr. Kenny (As a Christmas present)
One-off Sketches/Features: Consolevania Game Awards 2004, Jesus on Xbox, Eddie Murphy

Episode 7, The Resident Evil Special

Length: 28 minutes
Introductions: Courtney
Reviews: Overblood (PS1), Resident Evil 4 (Nintendo GameCube)
Regular Sketches: Hitler (and his plans to take over the show), Consolevania News, Tap Tap Tap (while escaping from Hitler), John Gacy (out in the woods), In reference to the previous episode, Kenny kills Mr. Robert as Mr. Ryan, who is ignorant of this, sings "You're the best! Around!"
One-off Sketches/Features: Mr. Ryan's evil girlfriend, Resident Evil: Tumblers, Criswell

Episode 8, The Retro Special

Length: 36 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: A selection of Commodore 64 titles (with emphasis on Castle of Terror), A selection of ZX Spectrum titles, Speedball 2
Regular Sketches: Hitler (parodying Davros), Legend, Kenny (parodying the Master), Consolevania News with Noel Edmonds
One-off Sketches/Features: Doctor Who-themed links, Jimmy Saville, old games adverts

Series two

Episode 1

Length: 35 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: Batman Begins (Xbox), Conker: Live & Reloaded (Xbox), 7 Sins (PS2), Battlefield 2 (PC)
Regular Sketches: Legend, John Gacy (interrupting a review of Another Code on the Nintendo DS), Manpuncher vs Boxhead
One-off Sketches/Features: Metal Gear Solid 3 re-edited and voiced by Lylatians, Live from Tokyo, CV MILF search

Episode 2

Length: 32 minutes
Introductions: Mister Jeff Minter, Kevin Leddins
Reviews: Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude (Xbox), Sid Meier's Pirates! (Xbox), Guild Wars (PC), Overblood 2 (PS)
Regular Sketches: Hitler (in Pimp My Console, a parody of Pimp My Ride), Consolevania News
One-off Sketches/Features: Consolevania Dance Off, Robert's Impersonation Spot, Consolevania Tips (featuring Osama bin Laden), A games-oriented re-edit of Perversion for Profit, NSJ (parody of New Games Journalism)

Episode 3

Length: 29 minutes
Introductions: Cameron and Fraser, TEAM
Previews: Final Fantasy 12 (PS2)
Reviews: Marc Ecko's Getting Up: Contents Under Pressure (PS2), Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King (PS2), Shadow of the Colossus (PS2), Trapt (PS2)
Regular Sketches: Consolevania News with Jessica Fletcher, TEAM call out Codemasters (The Art of the Square-Go)
One-off Sketches/Features: QuizVania (Quizmania parody), Special Report undercover visit to a games shop attempting to false advertise games, Rockstar Presents Table Tenni$, Michael Jackson's Moonwalker/I'm the Leader of the Gang (I Am) parody, Dangers of the Nintendo DS

Episode 4, Consolevania XXX

Length: 29 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: Lula 3D (Console Unspecified), Final Fight Streetwise (PS2), New Fantasia (Coin-Op), ThriXXX Technology Games: 3D Sex Villa & Hentai 2 3D (PC)
Regular Sketches: Consolevania News Africa, TEAM 'So Who's Next?'
One-off Sketches/Features: Night Trap with Robert and Ryan, Reggie Fils-Aime on J Allard, Psychic Detective, Alicia Rhodes & Pornstar Game Addiction

Episode 5

Length: 30 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: Makai Kingdom (PS2), Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (Xbox 360), Far Cry Instincts: Predator (Xbox 360), Dreamfall (Xbox)
Regular Sketches: John Gacy's Top Ten Kids Games, End of Level Boss and Mid Level Sub Boss: Tickets to E3,
One-off Sketches/Features: Phoenix Wright defends O.J. Simpson, Shoes on the Roof, Marble Madness, KOEI Spotlight, Hatris: Get it on!, Reggie Fils-Aime & J Allard: Purple Rain (with sex scene filmed by Ken Kutaragi)

Episode 6

Length: 31 minutes
Introductions: Louie "The Light" Gunn
Reviews: Sensible Soccer 2006 (Xbox), World Poker Tour (PS2) & Stacked (Xbox), Urban Chaos: Riot Response (Platform Unspecified), Hitman: Blood Money (Xbox 360)
Regular Sketches: Ask Kenny, TEAM call out Rare, Manpuncher vs. Boxhead 2 Proposal
One-off Sketches/Features: Next Gen Overblood,Football (as dubbed by International Super Star Soccer 98's announcer) Michael McDonald's music for Halo 3, Louie "The Light" Gunn: Videogame Standup

Episode 7, Independents Day

Length: 31 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: Naked War (PC), Galactic Civilizations 2 (PC), The Ship (PC)
Indie Roundup: Bullet_Candy, Narbacular Drop, Nero, Tremulous, Break Quest, New Star Soccer 3
Regular Sketches: Ask Kenny, Kevin Leddins - NSJ Picketing
One-off Sketches/Features: Finding the Coathanger Mic, Exclusive Behind the Scenes Footage including interviews with "Director" Brian Blessed

Episode 8, Dreamcasts From Another World

Length: 33 minutes
Introductions: None
Reviews: L.O.L.: Lack of Love (DC), Blue Stinger (DC), Maken X (DC), Illbleed (DC)
Regular Sketches: Kenny leaves to become king of the alternate universe
One-off Sketches/Features: The Alternate Dreamcast Universe, Rab on Lovematch (TV Dating Parody), Rab plays Uno with Xbox Live Vision, Father Segato - Ten Steps to Segasm, Rab and Ryan pitch Consolevania to Dragons' Den

Series Three

Rab had promised to begin the Third Series of Consolevania before July, and in true last-minute Consolevania fashion, it was released on the evening of 30 June 2007.

Episode 1, Consolevania Towers

Length: 36 minutes
Introductions: Max: The Consolevania Computer, Ziggy "I'm not evil" Springsteen, Edith and Rosemary, Emilio Zerg & his boyfriend Dave, Victor Douglas Ramshorn III & Emily
Reviews: Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened (PC), Rogue Galaxy (PS2), Overlord (360),
PS3 Roundup: Audio Visualizer, Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection, Super Stardust HD, Motorstorm, Gran Turismo HD, Genji: Days of the Blade, Alien: Resurrection (PS1), Resistance: Fall of Man, Nucleus, Calling All Cars!, Ridge Racer 7
Emilo Zerg & Dave's Roundup: Colin McRae: DiRT, Earth Defense Force 2017 (360), Command & Conquer 3 (PC)
Regular Sketches: The Boys move into Consolevania Towers, Meeting Ziggy Springsteen, Edith and Rosemary's Frightful Memories: Mad Panic Coaster, Rab and Ryan ask Max about Kenny, Kenny returns to our dimension and visits Ryan's old house to destroy Overblood
One-off Sketches/Features: Ken Kutaragi on the road, Emilo Zerg & Dave's Funk-isizer roundup, Victor's Video Diary: Dead or Alive Xtreme

Episode 2, You are Desirable

Length: 42 minutes
Introductions: Richard Rankin, Bullet Time & MC Meatshield Micro
Reviews: Big Brain Academy (Wii), Armored Core 4 (360), Torrente 3: The Protector (PS2), G1 Jockey (Wii), The Darkness (360), Global Defence Force Tactics (PS2)
Bullet Time & MC Meatshield Micro's Roundup: FlatOut: Ultimate Carnage (360), Ouendan 2 (DS), Ninja Gaiden Sigma (PS3)
Regular Sketches: Kenny visits Consolevania Towers after getting an invite to a party held by Peter Molyneux and returns to the boys, Rab and Ryan hijack Nintendo's Keynote speech E3 2007, Edith and Rosemary's Frightful Memories: Escape from Monster Manor, Rab has a chug
One-off Sketches/Features: Woglinde Street (Has he seen my trousers?), Ziggy Springsteen's Subliminal Messages: Buy a PS3, Bonus Feature: Halo 3 Live Action Film

Episode 3, Unnamed Episode (cat no: 25677-3) (aka The Black Episode)

Length: 27 minutes
Release Date: 9 September 2007
Reviews: Bioshock (360), Space Giraffe (360), Pipi & Bibi's (360), Zombie Virus (PS2), Robin Hood Quest/Snow Queen Quest (PS2), GrimGrimoire (PS2), Railfan (PS3)
Regular Sketches: Safe Gaming by Sammy Miller: Portables
One-off Sketches/Features: "In Defense of Bestiality" by Peter Molyneux, The head of Phil Collins, RATSAMAN LeGeORGE: halo cury (sic), Rab and Ryan play Wii Fit
Notes: 25677-3 was released virally over BitTorrent, the reason given was that the fictional Sponsors of the show (introduced in Season 3 Episode 1) and Ziggy Springsteen felt that the episode was unfit to be released and that Rab and Ryan were to be suspended from further involvement with the show. In itself, it is not a conventional episode of Consolevania using dadaist and obscure sequences and parodies in both the reviews and sketches. Game footage is recorded in the 'classic' style of filming the TV with a video camera. The alternate name The Black Episode is in reference to The Black Album, an album by Prince, which was pulled before release, and featured a similar catalogue number.

'C', Episode 1

Length: 15 minutes
Release Date: 10 October 2007
Reviews: NASCAR '08 (360), Two Worlds (360), NASCAR '08 (360)
One-off Sketches/Features: Zack Eastwood's guide to dating, Top ten games of all time (the top three being ArchLord, Lair, and NASCAR 08), Viewers' jokes ('Knock knock' 'Who's there?' 'Forzamo' 'Forzamo who?' 'Forzamo Torsport')
Notes: This episode was supposedly produced by the Sponsors after Rab and Ryan were removed from the show; instead, it is presented by the erstwhile Ziggy Springsteen and Zack Eastwood, both of whom separately review NASCAR '08 during the show. Following the release of this episode, an announcement was posted on the Consolevania news page stating that the Sponsors had terminated their relationship with Ziggy Springsteen, and that all rights to Consolevania had reverted to the original owners.

Episode 4, Mystery Episode

Note: According to Rab, a special, one-off episode of Consolevania was filmed for the third series and placed on a single VHS cassette, which was then taped to the side of a bin by the riverside in Glasgow. It was picked up by persons unknown. The contents of this episode are unknown.

Series Four

Wave 1

Length: 52 minutes
Release Date: 17 November 2008
Reviews: The Call of Cthulhu: Darkness Within (Mobile), Lego Batman (360), LittleBigPlanet (PS3), Wipeout HD (PS3), World of Goo (PC),
Regular Sketches: Warhammer WAR Stories ep1 + ep2, Checkin' The Forums, What Music Goes With It, Molyneux Moments
One-off Sketches/Features: Bond Girl, 50 Dollars, Steel Drums

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